wrigley field is MILF paradise
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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