i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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