I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
