i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
