yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
