No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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