yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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