it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
