thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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