i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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