yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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