So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
