and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
