so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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