Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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