I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
