he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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