dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
