the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
