Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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