You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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