Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
