He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
