If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
