At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
