I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
