The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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