I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We had to coat check the pizza.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
