we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
