dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
