We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
