Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
