once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
