You're completely useless in the revolution.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize