i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
