yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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