yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
