I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I look better un-naked...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
porn star boner night. come get it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize