forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize