You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
