I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
