I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
