Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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