Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
