worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
