I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
