well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize