Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please don't give away my fajitas
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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