his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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