Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
