like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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