I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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