ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
