It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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