Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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