haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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