If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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