Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
