I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
