Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
