She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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