Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
