singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
worst night to have a conscience
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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