We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
