i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
