I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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