How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
