belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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