I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
