my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
