he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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