Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This house was built for laser tag.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
