Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize